Don’t fear yet so much. Not every lover ends up into a violent partner. But, you need to know that how much ever they may not go to such an extent, they won’t hesitate to physically hurt you if you defy them. Toxic partners can be really bad for you. Toxicity in a relationship is dangerous. Even if you love the person so very dearly, it’s not your place to stay with someone who turns love into a wildfire game. Obsession, insanity, jealousy are all such emotions that creep up the brain in an immensely negative way. The result? Your flame just doesn’t want to let you go.
“No matter how much you hurt me and I hurt you, I’ll never let you go.”
That’s a toxic lover. It’s very important to understand the difference between a sane and insane person. So, imagine this: your relationship is a happy one but midway you both realise that it won’t work out between you two. No matter how much you love each other, circumstances are not the same. The best possible decision here is to let go of each other. That’s sane. But, in the same situation, if your partner disagrees to let you go and starts obsessing over you like no other – that’s highly insane.
Hence, it’s important to realise if your relationship is taking a violent turn. Not all relationships start as abusive and violent but slowly pick up their pace. Toxic partners slowly turn violent because of the onset of negative and oppressive feelings.
So, start noticing the signs that can prove to be dangerous for you, later on.
Identify the red flags
It’s honestly hard to identify such people. Toxicity in a relationship as a whole or in a person can have alarming consequences. Sometimes, it may have glaring effects while at other times, it can destroy you slowly. Several marital experts have concluded that warning signs get pretty noticeable in very early stages of an ‘about-to-be violent relationship.’ Here are some of the signs:
1. Jealousy: If your partner easily gets jealous and makes a big issue of every time someone of the opposite sex talks to you. Jealousy and malice can ruin a relationship at any point in time. Toxic partners get obsessive and jealous a bit more than the healthy dose of jealousy everyone loves.
2. Controlling behaviour: Your partner may be good at controlling or manipulating you to do things according to his taste. They can trick you into taking care of them or doing things their way by emotionally distracting you with themselves and maybe, your previous happy memories. The human heart reacts to happy memories and thus, manipulating gets only easier.
3. Disrespect: If your partner blatantly disrespects and speaks to you in an unpleasant tone, then steer clear of them. Loud tones of voice or speaking while shouting can be quite frustrating as well. Verbally abusing is also a huge sign that your partner is very toxic.
4. Resentment: Unknowingly, your partner may harbour feelings of resentment towards you for variable reasons and lash it out on you later. Maybe an earlier incident left an impression of them, and thus those feelings may arise in a later argument or fight. The phrase ‘let the past be passed’ doesn’t really apply to them.
5. Dishonesty: Lies hurt the most, and if your supposedly significant other always lies through his teeth, then it’s time to rethink your decision. They may lie knowingly or unknowingly but it’s still a lie. Their everlasting habit of lying doesn’t really go away.
6. Lack of care: self-care is as important as taking care of your needs too. If your partner repeatedly fails to do that, then it’s a no-no. It’s alright to be depressed or get anxiety, but what’s not okay is to ignore all steps of recovery. They may avoid any feelings of self-care.
7. Alcohol: Excessive violent drinking habits can be a glaring sign that your relationship can turn violent sometime in the future. Even if drinking is considered to be an escape from worldly blues and grief, it can also have negative effects on the person. They can start to physically and emotionally abuse their partners.
8. Conflicts in the beginning: The first year of a relationship can determine a lot about the people as a couple. If both of them have constant fights and conflicts since the beginning, it’s more likely that it will grow to be even more violent later down the line. Domestic abuse can also take a turn.
These signs slowly seep through and can be clearly noticeable. It can turn deadly and you need to understand that you have to save yourself from such behaviour and thus, get out of the relationship in time. You may even end up crying forever in your life.
Find a way through the darkness.
If you feel that there’s still a way to go through the relationship, start by gently talking about your toxic partner. You may have tried it before, but still, try to calmly talk to them and make them remember good memories. These serve as a primitive instinct for long-lost happy feelings. You can also take the help of their loved ones to accompany you in making your partner understand. Otherwise, a therapist is also a great option because they are professionally trained to treat people emotionally and make them mentally stable, only through communication and good beliefs.
However, if all doesn’t work, you know what is to be done.